Here are 14 Job Search Jargon to help first time or summer job seekers or even a long time veteran looking for a change of pace.
1. Competitive Salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
2. Flexible Hours: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
3. Good Communication Skills: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.
4. Ability to Handle a Heavy Workload: You whine, you’re fired.
5. Career-Minded: We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.
6. Self-Motivated: Management won’t answer questions
7. Some Overtime Required: Some time each night and some time each weekend
8. Duties Will Vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
9. Competitive Environment: We have a lot of turnover.
10. Sales Position Requiring Motivated Self-Starter: We’re not going to supply you with leads; there’s no base salary; you’ll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
11. Casual Work Atmosphere: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
12. Some Public Relations Required: If we’re in trouble, you’ll go on TV and get us out of it.
13. Seeking Candidates With a Wide Variety of Experience: You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
14. Problem-Solving Skills is a Must: You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
More Office Jokes
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